Hard knot which nevertheless needs to be untied instead of to act rashly

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Larisa Ivanovna - the grandmother 11 - summer Alyona. And at the same time her trustee. In a family many years in a row there is the real fight for the child, fight of mother of the girl against the mother-in-law in which all relatives are involved, and they can't come to a consent yet. However, about everything one after another.

Difficult beginning

Larisa Ivanovna's daughter-in-law - Irina - till the birth of the daughter used drugs, there was on the account in a narcoclinic with the diagnosis "an opium drug addiction". Doctors forbade to feed the baby after the delivery to Irina, but it disturbed her a little - soon, at all without having removed seams, Irina ran away from maternity hospital. Alenka transferred to regional children's hospital. Well knowing a way of life of the daughter-in-law, Larisa Ivanovna came to hospital, brought to the baby pampers, children's mixes, carried out all appointments of doctors. At an extract of the child doctors gave to the grandmother - for her responsibility as mother parties interested more. And after an extract of the girl, already at home, Irina often left Alenka and left "on affairs". Soon Irina, without having got on with the husband, in general I passed to live to the mother. Alenka remained with the grandmother and the father. In a year with small the girl sent to a day nursery. The trouble which has come to the house of Irina, became one more occasion to leave the baby at Larisa Ivanovna for a long time: I was seriously ill, and then Irina's father died. Especially as Alyona's second grandmother - Ekaterina Andreevna - didn't allow Irina with the daughter after quarrel with the husband to come back home. At first in the birth certificate of the girl data on the father were absent, a surname wrote down Irinina. But soon Larisa Ivanovna achieved that record about the father of the granddaughter was brought in the certificate - her son Alexander, appeared at the girl and a new surname - father's.

Alexander, also as well as Irina, used drugs, got to prison for their distribution. The grandmother was engaged in the girl only. Not only then, but also now all vital difficulties and expectations, requirements and Alenka's dreams are divided and divided completely by Larisa Ivanovna, directing to the child all sincere efforts and heat.

But serious tests didn't leave a family. Having studied only two weeks in the first class, and without that not really strong Alenka fell ill.The causative agent of hepatitis C which found in an organism of the girl, probably, was brought by someone from parents - addicts.
All circumstances as though forced the girl to mature quicker, without leaving time for the carefree childhood...

Apparently, neither to the father, nor mother had no time for the daughter. And then social workers advised Larisa Ivanovna to make out guardianship over the granddaughter... Now, ten years later, they insist on removing guardianship from the grandmother and to give the girl of mother.

To become mother yet late?

It is necessary to pay tribute to Irina - if first from it it didn't turn out good mother, now she persistently achieves return of the daughter, after all then, during Alenka's infancy it wasn't deprived of the parental rights. Though formally for this purpose there were bases: the grandmother became a trustee, and Irina went abroad on earnings. Obviously, departure was vital on what Irina's mother Ekaterina Andreevna insisted. For Irina it meant opportunity to escape from habitual as if the bog, the freaky environment tightening it with former habits, a grief - friends and opium orgies. In some years it all - could finish drug addiction.

Concerning Alyona Irina's spirit changed not once. She declared that to the mother-in-law: "You wanted to take the child - you took! ", I asked to give the girl to it. Now Irina lives in Austria, married, works in a social service and is going to confirm the diploma of the nurse. On the basis of the conclusions of local physicians the diagnosis "drug addiction" is removed. On numerous court sessions it comes from - for borders, despite distant distance and monetary expenses.

Difficultly to untangle the developed knot of problems in the relations of relatives also because they practically don't communicate with each other. Since Alyona's birth. In family archive there is the only photo, where Alenka together with the second grandmother and the grandfather: they met when to the granddaughter year was executed. Since then relatives exchange words by phone and that in the most urgent cases.

Ekaterina Andreevna (Irina's mother) told that every year goes to the daughter, at which abroad a good family, the remarkable mother-in-law. Larisa Ivanovna's guardianship she calls illegal as it was issued at live mother. About Larisa Ivanovna responds unflatteringly: "Dog in the manger. White she calls black. To the child doesn't admit, doesn't allow to meet.Once I exposed a parcel which was sent by Irina for a threshold. And after all Irina sent the alimony for Alyona all these years".

On one of court sessions Irina told that in the country where she lives, there is an opportunity to cure Alenka of a serious illness. In Ukraine it is impossible to predict, what help the girl will be able to receive and whether will recover in general, after all treatment of hepatitis costs much. Besides abroad the girl will get a good education and what the grandmother with cheap pension and a grant of the trustee can give her here?

Opinion of the psychologist

Judicial proceedings which were conducted at insistance of mother, led to that to Alyona not only was necessary to be present at meetings and to witness family contentions, but also over time to meet the psychologist. The court appointed such consultation. The director of the Center of social services for a family, children and youth Tatyana Oleynik completely supported mother and drew a conclusion which was cornerstone of a judgment to give Alenka to mother.

- In one country of the world of the judge wouldn't doubt a similar situation and would transfer the child from the grandmother of mother who passed treatment for drug addiction and has entered permanent remission, - Tatyana Sergeevna told. After all there is mother! The behavior the grandmother can be regarded as egoism, she is afraid to remain one, she got used to the child. But at the same time Larisa Ivanovna continues to carry doses Aleksandra - to the addict, and the girl sees all this, acquiring a certain model of behavior. It is dangerous to children's mentality. Alyona lives in a condition of division: the grandmother loves it, cares of it, but at the same time incites Alyona against mother, convinces that Irina threw Alyona. Such situation injuring for the child can be corrected, but for this purpose the girl needs to visit the psychologist.

And Alyona asked?

We talk to Larisa Ivanovna, and Alyona sits near us, listens attentively, without putting in a ward of adults. The girl seems beyond the years serious and thoughtful. Questions of mother answers very shortly, without emotions. Their meetings can be counted on fingers. Alyona practically doesn't remember mother. There was a meeting in the first day of academic year in the first class, then one more, quite recently. Alyona remembers how walked at a playground, and mother sat next. The girl says that mother showed her many photos about the life abroad, but during conversation always glanced for hours as though hurried where - that."To me with the grandmother well", - Alyona speaks. - I am engaged at music school, I play a piano, I learn English. We with the grandmother go to classes at Sunday school, I there participate in performance. The grandmother brings me beautiful suits".

There lives Alenka in the cozy room together with the grandmother. It has the working corner, on a table - the computer. The girl studies well and dreams to become in the future the physician or the actress.

Formality or the verified decision?

The chief of a juvenile service of administration of Leninsky district Vera PUSHKAREVSKAYA explained that household the guardianship, established earlier, will act now. "Such concept as household guardianship, won't be. If the child has no status of the orphan, at it one are live or both parents, household trustee from it will be removed, - Vera Pushkarevskaya" explained.

From this follows: if there are parents, nobody will already have the right to sponsor the child under the law. And if parents were and remain not so careful and loving, and to them no business is present to the child and his requirements? How then? After all guardianship isn't appointed just like that, for this purpose always there are serious bases. As well as in a case with Alyona.

In the decision of Factory regional council No. 45 of February 20, 1998 "About purpose of guardianship over the minor A. " it was told: "Single mother isn't engaged in education of the child. Supervision behind the minor carries out L. I. agrees with the above, proceeding from interests of the minor and being guided by chapters 15 - 18 KPShS of Ukraine, the executive committee of regional council decided to appoint L.I. citizen the trustee over the minor A. about what the corresponding certificate" is granted.

Since then a little that changed. Nearly 12 years mother and the daughter practically didn't communicate, they are, in fact, foreign people. However many Irina that wants to return the daughter said, it always was from it far, it always had occasions not to be engaged in it. That work, treatment, a new family for Irina were more important. Dear people for Alyona - the grandmother and the father. And here with native by birth, but the stranger on spirit mother contact needs to be come into, as they say, from the very beginning, after all 12 years the girl lived without it.

In court Irina unexpectedly declared that refuses to pay the alimony on Alenka until Larisa Ivanovna won't allow it to communicate with the daughter.It is the ultimatum? Blackmail by means of which Irina hopes to achieve a goal? But after all Alyona becomes the hostage of her ambitions in that case! Whether so Irina's desire to be engaged in education of the daughter in 12 years is sincere? Perhaps, behind desire to select the child other purposes are covered absolutely? If mother worries about the child, it is possible to help after all also money. It is possible to find, probably, and other ways to participate in destiny of the daughter, instead of to solve a problem so categorically.

In a known parable about the tsar Solomon who was famous for the wisdom, it is spoken about two mothers who have come to it with a request to judge them. Both women claimed that they are mothers of the newborn kid. Solomon told: "Split the child in half! ", at all without meaning to execute him. He wanted to test mothers. One of women told: "Cut! Let won't get neither me, nor it! ". And another exclaimed: "Let takes away the kid, if only he remained is live! ". The loving woman arrives as it is better for her child even if it will be hard for her.

Representing possible parting, Larisa Ivanovna, for certain with pain thinks that its krovinochka, the native little man, still such helpless in this severe life, will select at it and will give, in fact, to foreign people, to others country. Contact with mother wasn't and isn't present. The stepfather - the foreigner with very unbalanced character that was shown during court sessions. Alyona doesn't know language. It isn't known how there will be relations with the stepfather how she adapts in an unusual situation without friends and acquaintances, whether there will be such stress for it salutary? The definite answer to these questions will be not given by any most skilled psychologist, any most knowing social worker.

While things are being decided
The decision to give the girl of mother and to remove guardianship from Larisa Ivanovna, it was accepted Lenin district court in February of this year. Larisa Ivanovna challenged it in Appellate court. After that repeated trial which takes place now is appointed. Meeting on business is postponed once again for the middle of July. The judge appointed to conduct examination of those conditions which mother abroad in case of acceptance by court of the decision to return it the girl can offer Alyona. However, as Larisa Ivanovna speaks, anybody never tried to find out it here, in Ukraine.Never representatives of a juvenile service of administration of Leninsky district - experts who are obliged to hold this question on control - didn't find time to come to Larisa Ivanovna's house and to look as is here to Alenka. The woman is perplexed why in this case nobody thinks of the child, about his feelings, and tries to observe formalities? Why it is compelled to be protected in vessels and to act as the respondent in spite of the fact that she very much loves the granddaughter, cares of it and provided it normal conditions for life and study?

Alyona's further destiny now completely depends on a judgment. There is a wish to hope that this decision will be wise.


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